I wish I could punch you in the face.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
