y did u give ur computer a hand job?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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