I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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