he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
