you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
