No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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