ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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