I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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