I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
