I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
