Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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