I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
