If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
