PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
