So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
