Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
