ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
