I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
