You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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