yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
