How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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