thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
