The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
