I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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