my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
