Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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