My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The adults are the big ones right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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