just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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