and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
