The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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