I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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