This girl is more easily done than said...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
