I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
