the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
