I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
