Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
