Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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