Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have already put on my inside pants.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
