my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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