Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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