i just google imaged poop.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
