Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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