Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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