Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
