Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
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