oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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