You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
