everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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