did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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