brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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