Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
