We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
