I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
